who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
