watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
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