I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
You ate ashes out of my bong
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Randomize
