so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Randomize
