After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
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