My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Randomize
