every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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