Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
