problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize