so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
