i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Randomize
