What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize