im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
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