So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Randomize
