a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Randomize