The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
