There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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