I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Randomize