I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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