i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Randomize
