Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Randomize
