Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
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