Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Dick very happy bro
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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