I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Randomize
