know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
