Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
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