she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
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