Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Randomize
