My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Randomize
