I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
My friends, they love my intelligence
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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