I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
