The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Randomize
