I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
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