Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
