oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
