Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Randomize
