I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
