just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
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