How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Randomize
