Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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