Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
