We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
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