She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Randomize
