lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
