being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
