dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
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