idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize