Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
