Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
