I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
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