Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
