Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Randomize
