On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
