wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
they call him Oral-B. enough said
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Randomize
