so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
