She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Randomize
