i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Randomize
