Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
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