It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Randomize
